[by Rowell Sahip]
Like in every generation, mothers and daughters have a special bond. Even though one is still not quite a woman, and one is still not a girl in many ways, they all have characteristics in common. Moms want to regain their youthfulness, and little girls want to grow up quickly. Being a good mother is also something that mothers are aware of.
Therefore, mothers and daughters travel their life journeys with the best of intentions. Every mother wishes for her daughter to develop into a strong, independent, caring, and generous individual. The fulfillment of a mother’s greatest desire is for her daughter to be content, self-assured, and kind to everyone. These four building blocks can help you get and keep a relationship with your daughter that will last a lifetime, despite the many detours and obstacles along the way! Not only will you enjoy a close, one-of-a-kind friendship with your daughter because of your efforts to build this relationship now, but you will also give your daughter the wonderful gift of having strong relationships with her own children in the future.
What else could be more rewarding and significant than that? Not much, but it comes in at the top!
Life is built from the ground up. The same principle underlies relationships as well. If you have the resources, you can construct yours to withstand life’s challenges and ups and downs. The anchors necessary to withstand any storm are provided by a solid foundation. It never hurts to get started. Renewal, forgiveness, and a positive step toward rebuilding come with each new day.
TRUST BLOCK #1. Any relationship is doomed to fail without trust! Trust is frequently regarded as a given. A gift from God! Your daughter has come to trust YOU as a loving mother. She is aware that you will pick her up on time. She is aware that YOU take care of her and provide for her. Your daughter also knows that you love her unconditionally and will always be there for her, no matter what she does. She might be yelled at, but you have her absolute trust. Recognize that your words, credibility, and actions have earned her trust.
How does she perceive her ability to gain trust? Every young lady needs to comprehend that TRUST must be earned. The same way that YOU gained her confidence in YOU! Think about it: Why do we sometimes feel the need to attribute qualities that should be earned to our children? Our daughters need to know that patience requires trust. A journey toward independence is the process of taking small steps and rewarding small successes. As one of the most important aspects of your relationship, they must accept responsibility for earning and protecting the trust. As her mother, you make this significant, and it becomes significant.
To build trust between a mother and daughter, there are five steps. Each is significant and protected. They consist of: HONESTY; AWARENESS; DO NOT QUIT; CONSEQUENCE; and lastly, PRIVACY. It is essential to keep a loving relationship if you know each one and how to apply these steps to a working relationship.
Communication is Block #2. Funny how we seem to be so aware of our children’s needs when they are born. We are aware of the distinction between a rage cry and a hungry cry. We worry for hours that we are getting a cold because we can feel the slight shift in our mood. We teach our young daughters to talk as they get older. When they say ball and Mama, we repeat sounds and clap in delight. We are overjoyed to learn that our young daughters are on their way. We gently kiss them goodnight and pay close attention to all their needs.
An ensemble of sounds does not mean we teach communication; rather, we teach language. Webster defines communication as: an exchange of information or opinions OR the act of transmitting information. Consider that transmitting can refer to giving orders, commands, or instructions. Naturally, this is sometimes necessary. It indicates that we act and say what we say! There were no queries or discussions. At times, this method of communication is unquestionably acceptable and appropriate. The other side of the definition says that an exchange of information is a way to investigate another person’s opinion, thoughts, and logic. This, too, is crucial. In fact, this is the foundation of mutually beneficial communication.
When does it commence? When our daughters reach the age of two, they also begin to develop communication skills. We learn these skills primarily through our physical reactions rather than through our verbal abilities.
The way we speak, how we speak, and how we move our bodies are all examples of physical responses. It’s not about getting through; rather, it’s about using logic and being open to understanding other people. Your daughter will embrace your communication skills if they are delivered in a way that supports her best interests without threatening her own desires because she already has some level of trust in you. As the parent, you always have control. You only need the resources to teach your daughter about the world. You won’t lose your authority if you use these tools and exercises to start building a solid foundation for free and open information sharing. Keep in mind that communication can be one-way or one-command. Your control, your choice.
Block #3: Good listening. You should avoid talking too much now that we have defined communication. Also teach through actions! How? It’s simple once you know how. Take your time listening!!!When you listen well, you can gain insight into your daughter’s life. You can learn a lot by listening and observing. Listening involves not only what your daughter says but also what other people say. This includes her teachers, friends, foes, and anyone else she meets. I’m not advising you to spy or obtain reports. Listening will teach you more than you can imagine. A skill is listening. You want to create opportunities-rich environments. For instance, carpools are unpleasant, but when you pick up a group of her friends, keep the music low and listen instead of talking. You’ll be able to tell not only how good the girls’ friendships are but also what the group thinks by listening to their conversations. When you talk to your daughter in the future, this could be very helpful. Additionally, it’s a great way to meet her friends! Your daughter will embrace your communication skills if delivered in a manner that supports her best interests without threatening her own desires because she has already achieved a level of trust in you. Subtle suggestions from your side will have a better impact if you are more informed…remember what you learned about communication. As the parent, you always have control.
Block #4: LEAVING. Letting go is a constant process that we all
go through. When, how, how little, how much? Knowing when to hold your daughter’s hand and guide her and when to let her figure things out on her own. There will be times when your heart will break for her and you will want to take her pain, her place, and her path, but they will also learn the same lessons we did. We are aware that we should not and cannot always protect her from everything. When we look back on our own lives, some of the most difficult circumstances taught us the most important lessons about life. Whether that was our capacity to forgive and move on, empathy and compassion for others, ore have a choice in any crisis: we can choose to be better or bitter. It’s up to you. You give your daughter the strength she needs to stand on her own by being there for her and letting go. We develop and become whole through pain and development. Silence and solidarity sometimes speak louder than any great speech, and other times there are no words. On the off chance that you have based upon the three past blocks, giving up will be a characteristic course of affection. Where there is love, there is no fear. You now have the solid foundation for a healthy relationship with your daughter that will last a lifetime.
Simply being there as a friend, parent, role model, or mother is what it means to be there. The best present you can give your daughter and you is to learn how to cultivate and enjoy a loving mother-daughter relationship now. This is a gift that can be handed down from one generation to the next, growing stronger and more profound with each passing generation.
One of the most valuable things you can ever learn is how to improve your relationship with your daughter. You can find your way by following the building blocks. From holding her as a beautiful baby girl all the way through her turbulent teen years, the age of independence and self-discovery, to watching her become completely self-sufficient. Knowing that the work you do as a parent has now produced friendships is your reward. ###